You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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