Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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