I wish I could punch you in the face.
only if we run a train.
done.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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