If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
