the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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