Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
