I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
