Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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