I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
