when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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