I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize