Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
