Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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