Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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