Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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