Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
