I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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