I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
