Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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