Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
