R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Randomize
