then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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