please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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