my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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