Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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