She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
