U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
