Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
