I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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