So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
