My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
