i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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