you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We're using joints as your birthday candles
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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