U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
