They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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