Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
