I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize