No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
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