I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
