I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
In America we eat man semen.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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