we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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