I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
