oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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