Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Randomize
