I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
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