If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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