No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
