she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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