another moral hangover. fuck.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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