The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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