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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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