I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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