I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
