I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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