someone get that fucking seahorse.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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