oh god the rape fog is back!
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
