i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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