Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize