Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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