babies were throwing up all over the place
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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