At least make sure they are 18
Why
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
