garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
