That's intense
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
